Category Is…

Inclusive Safe Spaces.

Ok… granted that’s not an actual ball category, it is however a very important topic for discussion. Probably more important for the folk who are sick and tired of being victimised in violent, rapey and femmephobic spaces. Lord knows this isn’t of much importance to cis folk who fit the so-called everyday norm of the gender binary or those who show acceptable levels of masculinity that afford them the privilege to move through such spaces with more ease.

Femme bodies have always been and continue to be targets of assault and violence by hateful energies that are fuelled by fear, self-hatred and a hunger for exerting an ignorant power this society has taught them they are entitled to. That’s just the thing with this kind of negative power – it feeds on those who have been identified as weak and unworthy. Trust and believe that femme energy is none of these lesser words the majority relentlessly associates with it. It is in fact the more positive power. This is something I’ve learned from my own experience.

To nurture this seemingly unpopular power a handful of femme, queer and trans identifying peeps in Jozi have gone ahead and created their own inclusive and safe spaces. Spaces where self-expression is encouraged. Where vulnerability, creativity and femininity is praised and tolerance of nonsense from the negative power is very low if any at all.

I still remember buying a tight white lace top and stashing it in the back of my cupboard for months before I eventually got the courage to wear it at my first Cunty Power last year. The courage wasn’t because I was wearing a lace top. The courage was deciding to present and express myself the way that I’d always wanted to. It was a understandably tough for me. Especially the moment we had to leave the safety of the space I was in to go to Great Dane. It was ‘Same Sex Saturdays’ but I had never dressed like that publicly, at least not outside of a costume party. As fierce as I looked, I couldn’t help but shrink and feel some type of way because of the space I was in. Which mind you was mostly gay men, but femmephobia is no joke. Some of it was my own internalised stuff for sure but the night took an magical turn to where this girl walked up to me, took my hand and told me how beautiful I looked. She then put on a red beaded bangle on my wrist and went on her way. That act of love and connection did something to me. I’ve never looked back since that day.

Embracing my femme energy and loving the versatility of wearing whatever I want regardless of what the store clerk or gendered shop signage says is the very reason I choose spaces that deliberately and explicitly protect people like me. Anyone who knows me will know that I religiously go to Pussy Party at KCB in Braam. The message of PP is very clear – protect, uplift, nurture and love of femme and queer bodies. Anything against that is refused. It is undoubtedly my second home where I get to dance my queer ass off until the early weekday morning with zero fear or apprehension. Maybe a teensy bit of fear of a violent hangover the following day, but that ain’t never hurt nobody.

Just a month back a spectacular event was born in Joburg called Vogue Nights. Ever since I watched ‘Paris Is Burning‘ (available on SA Netflix ūüėČ ) only a just few years back actually, I’ve been obsessed with ball culture, voguing, metamorphosis and the notion that you can choose your family. Vogue Nights surely gave me that hope and promise that sizoba grand. The voguing beasts from V.I.N.T.A.G.E Crew turned it out on the floor battling MrAllOfIt and other gorgeous divas dressed in beautiful silks, fishnets, shiny gowns and colourful hair. I myself played it down a little because I had a dinner in Rosebank before and wasn’t about to put myself in any kind of a situation with Uber drivers or bigoted patrons of Doppio. That of course is my own struggle and another reason I live for these events that tell me it’s OK to be you, to be extra and to do the most. I did however put my choppy black wig, called Yolanda, in my pocket which later came out to play downtown with all my other femme, butch, queer and trans brothers and sisters.

The M.I.A. concert, KOP JHB, Afropunk and other iconic events I’ve been to in the past year have been shameless at promoting and supporting the LGBT+ community and putting strict disclaimers that do not tolerate any sort of ill treatment of any human, period. Many will try and play ignorant or make excuses for the toxic spaces that turn a blind eye to what they know is true. Some will demand to be educated on this matter instead of taking their own initiative to learn from global standards institutions such as the Afropunks have set in their governing principles.

What I really do hope for is that the many and the some will do better in striving for inclusiveness and safety for the folk that attend their parties, events, homes, restaurants and bars. It’s time we connected on the real things and allow one another to have fun without compromising any bodies (femme or otherwise). It’s hella idealistic hope for sure, but It’s hope nonetheless. We’re pretty much nothing without it.



femme power


Weekend Style

Am I the only one who is bummed Easter is over?! Also… I don’t know what titles to give these weekend style posts. The last one worked because it was a “themed” weekend. And by “themed” I mean Jesus died and moved that massive stone out of the way to rise and do the things. Love it!

So I really need to get better at remembering to save my insta mirror style snaps to use on here. O.M.G. I just gave myself the title for these posts! Mirror Style! Unless it’s another themed weekend you know.

Friday¬†was work. Bleh. So natch I forgot to take a mirror style selfie. I’ll do better, promise. Only if you care of course. But for the purpose of this post I’ve used a mirror selfie from Thursday night with some of my faves (Siya and Zweli). It’s basically the same look sans the hat and jacket… and different sneakers. Lol, I’m explaining too much. Go with it. I think it was a bit chills, so it was basically a grey polo-neck (going to be so essensh for winter – stock up!), dark grey tailored ankle length pants and the paint splashed Aisics sneaks. Nice and basic. Went to a networking event that night which I will share in my next post.

Update: Thanks to Miss Randi Va, I found ALL my archived instastories on the app. Rejoice! Thanks for looking out girl.


Thursday (which was basically my Friday lewk)

Saturday was spent partly at gym (hate that place, but it does the things), partly at home helping a friend with their filming assignment and mostly at Zoo Lake for a birthday party. I obvs only got dressed for the party with a navy basic tee, comfy AF navy and white capri pants and insanely bright Adidas NMD sneakers. Added in a pineapple and question mark pin because, why not. I just felt like I need some quirk. I was into it.



Sunday¬†was ME, ME, ME. Lazed in bed all morning then got up and posted a video of me dancing to Cardi B’s ‘Bartier Cardi’ on my instagram stories. Mess! The weather was begging for legs to be out, so I obliged with a white linen button up, ripped denim short-shorts and these rad (allow me, a lot of people use this word) tan leather tie ups. The shorts caused a bit of stir when I went to Rosebank Mall for a young toiletry shopping sessh. Probably too short for a holy day? Lol.




Hope you all had a good weekend. Go forth and smash this week! ‚̧


ALN. “Shoot” Outtakes

So while moonlighting as a photographer for my friend’s Know Scrubs¬†clothing brand (see my shots on their instapage), I obviously swindled a friend who was in the shoot to take snaps of me in the guise of using them for the gram. The swindlee is Smiso and he takes really great pics when he’s not saving lives as a medical doctor.

To be honest I didn’t even know I was taking these pics for the purpose of eventually using them for this blog. I was really taking them to apply to a modelling agency that stays rejecting me (whatevs!). But that’s for another day. Click through and tell me what you think. ūüėČ

Oh! Btdubs, the gorgeous kimono you see me wearing in the pics throughout the blog was gifted to me by my fave, Inge Wulff. I also played a model for her capsule range release last year,  check out .ing here on insta.